How to Change Your Health and Fitness: Lessons From Bullies, Effort Paradox and More.

Recently I was asked "how long have you been working out?"

"Over 20 years" I replied.

"Damn!  You must have to train real hard to look that way."

It led me down an interesting thought exercise. I don't look at training, eating healthy (what is healthy for me, at least) and living a fit and healthy life as very difficult.

I wondered: When did it start to feel easy? 

As I thought back, it didn't take long. I started lifting weights at 14 years old so that I wouldn't be bullied. Even though I never had been bullied, Johnny Lawrence from The Karate Kid, Ace Merrill from Stand By Me, Biff Tannen from Back to the Future had me convinced that I was going to be bullied.
 I started lifting weights to build muscle and be strong
I kept lifting weights because I wanted to look like my favorite pro-wrestlers
I never stopped lifting weights because it became a part of who I was. 

by 17 years old I was hooked. I had so strongly identified with this lifestyle that it no longer felt like work. Sure the training evolved and stayed difficult (that's how you build muscle and grow!)  but I never had to motivate or convince myself to stick with it.

This took me 3 years.

And it reminded me of what's called the Effort Paradox.

The Effort Paradox
You have to put in more effort to make something appear very effortless.

For things to appear easy you must have put in more effort. In other words, easy is earned.

On the flip side, at a certain point I believe it levels out. It doesn't suck forever and it eventually levels out.

Once achieved, It is much easier to maintain a great level of fitness and health than it is to achieve it.

What if you put in more effort over the next 1-3 years?
What if you were willing to say NO to short term impulses and YES to what creates long-term health?
What if you were willing to do that for a time so that you could reap those benefits the rest of your life?

This is what most people are not willing to do. Put in the work upfront.

The reason is that it is difficult. However, you fail to realize that over time it will become easier. 

You have proof of this in your life if you look around you.
Think of all the things you are great at now that you weren't when you started.

Maybe it was parenting? you were scared to death when you have your first child. Now, you've got it figured out. You don't worry like you used to (even though you may still worry) and in general after a certain age, your work is done.

Maybe it was starting a new job? It took a while to learn the systems and process. It took a while to get to know your co-workers and create an environment to collaborate and work together. After a while it became easy. So easy that you often get bored at work and don't even really think about the work you do. Its automatic.

You must adopt this same mindset with your fit and healthy lifestyle. You must get over the hump and get to the point where it gets easy. I promise, it doesn't suck or stay difficult forever. I've been doing this for over 20 years. It gets easier to sustain.

Maybe you are a few months or years in and you are getting frustrated and want to give up.

Here are 2 keys to help you:

1. You Must Have a Real Reason to Change. Not some extrinsic, surface level motivation. That's fine when you start, but to stick it must be meaningful. I started out because I wanted to build muscle, look good, so people wouldn't fuck with me. I was motivated by pro wrestlers and actors and kept at it because I wanted to be a good example to others, teach others to be fit, and be healthy so I could live a great life.

You can see it went from surface level to meaningful. You must figure out what that is.

2. Fall in Love With the Process and Growth NOT Results. You must make learning and growing the goal and not just looking great. When you are solely focused on what fitness and healthy as transactional then it becomes a toxic relationship. 

It's like saying "I love you" to your partner and getting pissed when they don't say it back. Say it because you mean it and its because its how you feel...Not because you expect anything in return. Give without expectation.

Train and eat because its the right thing, its celebrating your body...Not because you demand anything from it in return. Ironically, it will give you everything and more.

Ponder how you are going about your process. Give it time, but to give it time you must get over the hump. To get over the hump you must know why you're doing this and it must be for the right reasons, your reasons.

Have a great week.

PS Looking to shed 10-50 lbs, build muscle, create sustainability in your fitness over the next 3-6 months? . I have limited 1:1 and group coaching space available.

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