Embrace Change and Transform Your Life: The Power of Shifting Your Inner Landscape
Change is hard.
Many people do their very best to avoid it all together.
But the only constant in life is change.
We are born. We grow. We die. Repeat.
Instead of trying to deny change, or fight it, it is best we all embrace it and flow with it.
This sounds good conceptually and many people get it.
But few really embrace it.
What Most People Do When It Comes to Change:
If people aren't trying to avoid change altogether, they will likely come up with a plan.
They will have a first step, second step, third step. The list will go on until completion of the goal.
Lets say someone wants to lose 50 lbs.
They will likely start with an outline of a diet, have specific macros to follow, foods to choose from.
They will then go to the store. Plan a menu. Food prep. Have options available.
They will also have a workout plan. Training split. Certain days of the week.
Some will succeed and lose the weight (research shows only 4% will succeed in their fat loss goals)
Some will not.
They all had a plan.
What happened?
Why Does It NOT Work?
The problem here isn't in the plan but in where the plan is coming from.
Let me explain.
When a person has struggled to lose weight for 10, 20, 30 years they have likely created a story about what losing weight and becoming healthy means.
For many of these people its a struggle. There isn't time. There is no support.
This has lead to some low level feelings.
Feelings like guilt.
"I'm pathetic, I can't keep food out of my mouth."
Feelings like shame.
"I ate way too much this weekend and lost all of the progress I achieved the last 2 weeks."
Feelings like fear.
"I'm afraid of what kind of attention I may get from men if I lose this weight."
I've heard all of these words come from peoples mouths.
These stories have created an identity around who they are and also an emotion that drives their behaviors.
When feelings like fear, shame and guilt are the bedrock or foundation for change, it becomes very difficult to create real change long term.
These lower feelings and emotions will sabotage your momentum later on.
I've seen it a million times.
A person loses weight and still doesn't like themselves.
A person creates more money and still feels they don't have enough.
These feelings can spur action, but action alone isn't what's needed to sustain a lifestyle.
Its a shift in identity.
What Helps Solve This Long Term:
Your thoughts, feelings, emotions are the driver for everything that you do.
To support you they must be at a level that can sustain you and help you move forward.
Thoughts and feelings that will take you through the bumps in the road and not sabotage you when it gets tough. Because it will get tough.
If you are afraid, lean into courage.
If you are battling guilt, lean into acceptance.
If you are battling shame, lean into appreciation.
Its not that you wont feel those other feelings. You are human. But you must be able to transmute those feelings into ones that will drive and reinforce a positive identity.
Remember, you aren't trying to be someone you are not. It's not fake it until you make it.
Its be it until you see it.
What you think, feel, believe in your mind and heart are mirroring back to you in the real world.
It doesn't matter how much you know, its about how much you actually believe.
This is exactly why someone who is following the diet and training perfectly will NOT see results as long as they think, feel and believe they are fat, out of shape or not worthy. No scale or picture will tell them otherwise.
This is exactly why you cant hold a person back who believes in themselves without proof that they can succeed. Because they don't need proof of what they know to be true in their heart.
If you are waiting for validation outside of you then you are a victim and a yo-yo to your circumstances.
With this awareness, you must cultivate a new story around who you are and what your life has meant.
We all have a story. A past. Many of us have defined ourselves by what's happened to us and what we've done.
The truth is we must use the past to give us meaning today. Except most do it in a way that limits themselves. Doesn't fit the story or narrative that empowers them, rather it limits them.
You must make your past meaningful in the context of what you want to experience in your life, not use it as a reason to be a victim.
From here you have to align to a feeling that supports your vision.
Want to feel strong and fit. Think back to a time in your life when you did. Or even a brief moment you felt strong and capable. Remember what that felt like. Close your eyes and take yourself back there. Conjure that feeling once again. Feel it in your body. Smile and remember what it felt like. Sit with it. Hold onto it. Attach it to a vision of your ideal future. Strength, energy, confidence. Journal on that. Visualize that everyday. Sit with it everyday.
And with that thought, feeling, emotion; go about your day and take the actions from that mental space.
One where you've already accomplished what you've set out to accomplish. From a place of success.
This subtle shift is what 99% of people are missing when it comes to making real change.
You don't wait for validation outside of you to tell you that you can. You create it from within.
Unfortunately we aren't taught this.
But this is exactly the process I use whenever I want to create something new in my life.
Pinpoint what I'm creating. Take myself to a place mentally and emotionally that resembles the success I envision. Spend time there each day through journaling, meditation, conversation. Put myself in an environment that'll help me be successful and nurture those thoughts and feelings. Get up and go about my day with the actions, beliefs and process that will help that reality show up for me.
There is a lot here to digest, and I know it can be a lot.
If you'd like help dissecting this and implementing this into your own life I'd be happy to support you however I can.
You can use the link below to schedule a free call or you can email me back here.
Enjoy your week.
