Overcoming the Top 5 Things Keeping You Stuck

I hear it all of the time from people

"I'm stuck"

"I'm unhappy"

"I'm in a funk and I can't get out of it"

I have definitely been there. After all we are human and we aren't going to be functioning at a 10/10, 365 days a year forever.

The problem isn't so much going through this it is in not knowing how you got here and how to get out of it.

From my personal and professional experience there are 5 reasons we find ourselves stuck.

1. You aren't working towards meaning
2. You aren't growing
3. You aren't doing anything new
4. Do More Hard Stuff
5. Stop Listening to Everyone Else

Lets breakdown the first.

1. You aren't working towards meaning.

This may be controversial or triggering to many but the truth is going to a job you hate, working for a boss you don't like, to pay the bills, with a paycheck that isn't enough doesn't provide meaning.

Sure it fills your time and gives you purpose, but if its not meaningful then it will never be fulfilling. Which is something that is imperative to true happiness and is often the root cause of feeling stuck.

Think about it, we weren't created in a world where those things are essential to life.

We have made them essential to function in society, but as we know the only things we really need to survive are: 

-Food
-Air
-Water

And i'll add a fourth, connection.

Everything else is secondary. 

Meaning and fulfillment=Real Happiness

And these aren't promised even with a "dream job" with a high salary and weekends off.

When you lack meaning day-to-day outside of your daily responsibilities, you will feel frustrated, stuck, unhappy and resentful.

In fact, this study on rats/mice ( I can't find the study to link it, but definitely do your own search for it) showed that when they were given everything they needed to survive they then lacked meaning and purpose. At this point they literally stopped pursuing pleasure, food, water and would die. This is also tied to number 4 on this list (Do More Hard Stuff)

To navigate this, check out the concept Ikigai. This is an ancient Japanese concept that helps your find meaning in life.


2. You Aren't Growing.

The old saying says "if you aren't growing, you are dying"

Many people mistake change for growth.

For example, everything changes. Life is change. There is nothing we can do about it. However, we don't all grow.

Growth is an intentional act of learning, experimentation, assessing and implementation.

Its an intentional process that comes with trial and error.

When you are growing you are open minded.

A study a while back suggested that by the age of 35, people are who they are. Meaning the values, beliefs, actions they have are mostly cemented into an identity and that major changes in the above are very unlikely on a large scale.

Resisting this, I believe, is the source of our unhappiness and what accounts for many people to become stuck and unhappy.

Its in our DNA to learn, grow and evolve. To resist this will bring about major discomfort.

This leads me to number 3...

3. You Aren't Doing Anything New

When we do new things our brains make new connections and improve neuroplasticity. This helps keep our brains young, and functioning at an optimal level.

It is only in new experiences that we can discover new parts of ourselves. Doing this allows us to grow and evolve and avoid the difficult position of being stuck and unfulfilled.

Of course, doing new things can be difficult. People in general crave certainty and the unknown can bring about major discomfort.

Try doing small things to start.

A new route to the grocery store for example.
A new restaurant.
New gym.
New route on your walk.

Anything to change things up is good.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, so look for ways to spice things up in your life.


4. Do More Hard Stuff.

One my mottos this year was to "do more hard stuff."

The single biggest impact on my health, business, personal life can be attributed to this very thing.

Doing more hard stuff makes you resilient to life, stress, people, setbacks, road blocks...you name it.

If you are feeling stuck you MUST challenge yourself in new ways. You can't move forward without overcoming resistance. So you must face it head on with a smile on your face.

Avoiding it will only keep you stuck and unhappy for longer. Trust me on this.

5. Stop Listening to Everyone Else.

I have a saying "It's your life and nobody can tell you you're doing it wrong."

I still believe this in my core, but the truth is YOU know if you are doing it wrong.

And if you find yourself stuck and unmotivated then you may be in part because you're taking too much information in from everyone else.

Look, I get it. You friends and family love you and want what's best for you.

But here's the catch...Most of them want what's good for you as long as its ALSO what's good for them.

You can see where there is a conflict of interest here. So taking even your best friends or parents advice may not be in your best interest.

On the other hand, it may align with what you want in your life.

Only you know.

But the more your outsource your decision making and happiness the more likely you are to be confused because the only real opinion that matters is your own.

So spend time journaling, asking yourself question, writing out the answers.

This takes self trust that only you can develop. In fact, practicing the above can help you tremendously with self-trust.

In Conclusion

Being stuck in your life and/or fitness is NEVER comfortable and always painful.

I'd encourage you to REALLY dive deeper into these 5 areas and do further research on how to navigate 1,2 or all of these areas. 

You are much more capable than you think but you must be willing to do some deep work to move through these tough times in your life. 

Stay curious, ask questions, learn, try new things, experiment, and never shy away from hard stuff.

If you follow that recipe for life it'll be hard to stay stuck or unmotivated for too long..

Until next time.

Have a great week.