Overcome Limiting Beliefs To Transform Your Health (Turning Pain Into Purpose)

You have a story that is holding you back. It is keeping you stuck in some area (maybe several) of your life and you are suffering because of it.

But this week I want to dive a little further into the origins of our behaviors and actions.

Maybe you have been trying for decades to lose weight and feel amazing.

Maybe you find yourself dating the same person over and over again with frustration and heartbreak.

Maybe you keep having the same frustrating issues with everyone and everything in your life.

Whatever it is, you likely have a seed story that is keeping you stuck and until you bring awareness to it, identify it, transcend it and overcome it, you will continue to see the same patterns show up.

To illustrate this, I'd like to give you a personal example.

When I was in grade school, students that had a birthday would bring in and supply treats for the class. When I was in fourth grade, for my birthday that year my mom brought in her famous cherry turnovers from the restaurant my parents owned in town. Because they owned a restaurant, everybody in class always looked forward to my birthday treats. On this particular year, we had a substitute teacher who did not understand this tradition and was less than thrilled of the idea of interrupting class for what he viewed as a silly and unnecessary waste of time.

When my treats came in that day he was frustrated, irritated and rude as we passed out treats and tried to enjoy what is supposed to be a fun afternoon that each child gets once a year. I remember feeling very uncomfortable and like a major inconvenience that day. I remember how I felt in my body that day. I remember just wanting it all to be over. I look back at that day as a moment in time where I learned that attention, celebrating me were not something I wanted to have anything to do with. 

This seed story was a belief that I had subscribed to for a very long time and it affected how I lived my life in a lot of ways. From giving and receiving gifts, being praised for any act, to being acknowledged in the simplest ways. It made me uncomfortable. Often times I'd feel the same way I did as a kid that day.

In fact, for a long time my birthday would bring about a lot of anxiety, much like that day did when I was 11 years old.

We all have moments like this in our life that are running the show, even if we aren't conscious of it.

One of the most useful ways to overcome these seeds stories are through written exposure therapy AKA WET.

Now I will preface, I am obviously not a psychiatrist or psychologist and I am simply sharing what has been useful for me and others.

This process is made up of three parts, each helping you identify and transcend the trauma. The goal is to identify, transcend and implement into a new and evolved life. The benefits of this allow you to overcome limiting beliefs and seeds stories that are keeping you stuck. Maybe its money, fat loss, relationships, communication, the list is literally endless. 

You can practice this as a meditation or journaling prompt. I prefer the journaling prompt with some imagery recall as I write.

The first part is identifying the event. Write about the event and the feelings associated with the event. Be descriptive. What did you FEEL during the event. Focus on feeling more than the event itself. This makes it real. Where is the feeling at in your body? For me and my example, it was a tightness in my throat and chest. It felt constricting in my whole body. It was shame, guilt, embarrassment.

Next, write and think on the story you created because of the event. What beliefs, stories, feelings did you hold onto or create afterwards? Bring awareness to how its affected your life and where it shows up, how it feels since the initial occurrence. For me and my example, the story was to blend in, don't bring attention to yourself, you are not worth celebrating. Attention is not good and feels unsafe.

Lastly, write out what you will do with this story going forward. The truth is we are all victims at some point in our life. We must be when things happen, but we get a say in how long we live in that state. For some, they stay the victim their whole life. Everything happens "to them". We all know these people. However, you get to transcend your pain and turn it into purpose.

You get to decide now that those stories and identity you've created around that event no longer serve you. You can use that pain and make it mean something better for yourself and those in your life. You get to go from victim to hero in your story.

For me, I looked for proof where the opposite was true. Where in my life have I been celebrated, acknowledged for the good I bring into the world, where attention wasn't condemning or hurtful. Eventually I chose to turn that pain into purpose and become a great listener to others. Ensure that people would be seen and accepted. I made it my mission that kindness was always a good practice and people would feel special in my presence.

This has lead to a great career in coaching and a happier more fulfilling life.

I can also look back at some of the most uncomfortable moments in my life as the biggest teachers and lessons. For that, I am incredibly grateful for those moments and specifically that substitute teacher that day.

Am I perfect? of course not. Its a practice and it helps shape who I am.

But it helps give me purpose and have values that mean something to me. With values and purpose, our decisions and actions can be more intentional.

You likely have similar stories that have shaped your life.

Shape how you view food, exercise, self-care, self-love, confidence and the list is endless.

And these stories are keeping you stuck no matter how many times you try to create something better for yourself. As long as you are tethered to these seed stories you will continue to see the same results play out in your life.

My hope is that you can better identify where that started and through practice and action start to rewrite what those moments in your life mean to you going forward.

Its time you go from the victim to the hero in your life.

Time to be set free.