Why You’re Not Motivated—And What to Do Instead
One thing I get annoyed hearing as someone who helps others get fit and live better:
"I'm not motivated."
Not exaggerating, I feel like hanging up the phone right then and there. But let's identify what's really being said.
Understanding Motivation
Motivation is made up of three things:
Desire – Wanting a specific outcome.
Belief – Confidence that effort will lead to the outcome.
Energy – Willingness to take appropriate actions.
Many have a general idea of what they want. Most don’t have belief or confidence in what they’re doing, and because of this, almost none have the energy to start or continue.
And to be honest, it's not entirely your fault.
Why You Lack Motivation
You've been chasing goals that you don't actually care about your whole life. You’ve been programmed by TV, social media, and your environment to act accordingly.
You've been told by parents to go to school and get a job.
You've been shown on IG that being attractive means having 7% body fat or being a size 0.
None of these are "wrong." They just weren’t choices you consciously made for yourself.
Step 1: Define Your Core Values (What Actually Matters to You?)
Before we dive into creating lasting motivation, you need to do some searching on what you actually value—not just what you’ve been told to value.
Ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be?
What do I respect in others that I want to embody?
What are my non-negotiables in life?
Example values:
Health & Vitality – "I take care of my body because I value feeling strong and energetic."
Integrity – "I follow through on my commitments, even when no one is watching."
Growth – "I seek progress over comfort because I value becoming better."
Meditate on these answers and refine them over several days. Consider this the groundwork for WHO YOU ARE.
Remember, we always act in accordance with what we believe to be true.
So, what do you believe to be true of you?
Step 2: Create Simple, Clear Principles (Your Personal Code)
Principles are rules you live by that make decisions automatic. These should be short, memorable, and action-oriented.
Examples of powerful principles:
"I don’t skip workouts; movement is a daily non-negotiable."
"I fuel my body with real food, not processed junk."
"I always finish what I start."
"I make decisions based on long-term benefits, not short-term comfort."
"Everything that happens in my life is an opportunity to learn and grow."
"There are no mistakes, just lessons."
Principles remove decision fatigue. You don’t have to “feel like it” because you already decided who you are and what you do. They also help shape how you perceive the world, taking you out of "victim mode" and into "victor mode."
Step 3: Align Actions and Verbiage with Identity (Make It Who You Are, Not What You Do)
People fail at discipline because they focus on behavior rather than identity. Now that you've crafted a vision and established principles, you can align your actions and words with your identity. Shift your mindset:
🚫 "I need to work out." → ✅ "I am someone who prioritizes my fitness."
🚫 "I should eat better." → ✅ "I am the type of person who fuels my body properly."
When you identify as the person who does the disciplined action, doing it becomes easier than not doing it.
Step 4: Make Discipline the Default (Eliminate Friction & Temptation)
Discipline isn’t about fighting temptations; it’s about avoiding them. Structure your environment so the right choice is the easy choice.
Remove distractions – If junk food is in your house, you’ll eat it. If your phone is next to you, you’ll scroll.
Make good habits convenient – Set up workout clothes the night before, prep meals in advance, have a water bottle near you.
Use automation – Set up recurring grocery deliveries with healthy foods, schedule workouts in your calendar.
Make disciplined actions so easy that choosing the "wrong" thing requires effort. Remember, these aren't sacrifices—they are aligning with who you actually have chosen to be!
Step 5: Build & Use Momentum (Make It Emotionally Rewarding)
People struggle with discipline because they focus on results instead of consistency. Instead, let the act itself be the goal—not the destination. The key is to make following through satisfying:
Track your progress – Use a calendar, habit tracker, or simple checklist. Seeing a streak grow reinforces discipline.
Set small milestones – Aim for “X days in a row” instead of massive goals.
Celebrate wins – Acknowledge your effort, even before big results show up.
Discipline gets easier when not doing it feels worse than doing it.
Step 6: Remove Emotion from Action (Do It No Matter What)
The ultimate level of discipline is action without negotiation. You don’t wake up debating whether to brush your teeth—you just do it. Apply the same to fitness, work, and self-improvement.
Make non-negotiables clear – “I train 4x a week, no matter what.”
Reduce internal dialogue – Don’t ask, “Do I feel like it?”—ask, "Will I be better for having done it?"
Act fast – The longer you wait, the more excuses creep in.
In short, when you are clear on who you want to be, why you want to live and experience the life that you desire, you don't need motivation at all...You naturally want to take the actions that align with the highest version of you.
So, remember this: Struggling to get motivated? Then reflect on why you are doing it.
I hope this was useful!
