The Hidden Truth About Lasting Weight Loss: SPOILER: It’s NOT Habits

"I know what to do, I'm just not doing it."

I hear this ALL the time from people.

NOTE: This may be one of the most important, overlooked aspects of fitness. Pay attention.
You must uncover the true reasons holding you back.

But before diving in completely I want to use a story to illustrate the points I want to make.

Years ago I worked with a client, I'll call her Karen, and she wanted to lose 50 lbs. She expressed to me that she'd always been overweight and wanted to finally be able to look in the mirror and love what she saw!

She showed up to every session, followed every bit of advice and guidance I gave her along the way. 

After a short 6 months she had lost over 50 lbs and beat her goal weight!

She hadn't seen this weight since middle school and was thrilled with the accomplishment!

We wrapped up our training and she was grateful and I was happy for her.

Months down the road I bumped into her and was surprised to see...she had GAINED almost all of the weight back!!

How could this be? she had all the tools, she knew what to do, she had felt and looked so damn good!!

At the same time I thought, how did I fail her? what did I miss?

A few minutes of brief conversation and catching up and she revealed that even though she felt great, she still saw herself as the chubby girl. That even though she was proud of what she accomplished she had done it, in part, because she wanted to rekindle the spark in her marriage. She had grown to resent her accomplishment because "why couldn't he just love me the way I was before?"

Soon the weight came back on and Karen was back to where she started.

I thought about it for a while afterwards and it hit me...The stories we tell ourselves about who and what we are in the world will dictate the actions we take no matter how much we know better.

Because Karen never stopped seeing herself as overweight, she went back to the familiar habits and actions of that overweight woman.

Her action and habits changed but SHE didn't

The idea that actions and habits drive behavior's is wrong. 
Its your perception of yourself and the world around you that shapes what you do.

In other words the stories and identity in your subconscious mind are the true drivers of your actions.

This is why most dieters fail (96% failure rate after 1-2 years) and 66% gain more weight than they lost.

This experience taught me a lot and changed how I went about my coaching.

I started implementing more than just diet and exercise and weaved in mindset, identity shifting, ownership and perspective.

Here are 3 ways you can go about changing who you are and not just what you do.

1. Old stories are holding you back. You know what to do, but your relationship with food, exercise, and healthy habits contradicts who you want to be.

People who say "money is the root of all evil" will struggle with money.

People who've subscribed to the belief that they aren't good enough, too fat, and unattractive will behave that way no matter who much they "know" or how smart they are.

You must create a new reputation to live up to and let go of stories and values that do not serve you anymore. With Karen, she still saw herself as overweight and unworthy. It didn't matter what the mirror or scale reflected, she still picked on herself when clothes didn't fit or she at a "bad" meal. In her head, it meant she was bad and if she was bad then she was unworthy of love and health. Even writing these words makes me a little sad.

2. Clarity behind a real WHY. Losing 25-50 lbs is a great, measurable goal, but how does that change your life?  Focus on the emotion and feeling and the new life that the goal affords you. This is crucial because it'll bypass any need for motivation. In Karen's example, part of her goal was to rekindle her marriage. Though not a bad value to have, she came to resent her husband. Had she found the reasons deep within herself, she'd have had a higher chance of success long term. This intrinsic motivation (as opposed to extrinsic) is so important.

3. Enclosed Social Environment. This is what I call a group or community that doesn't embrace the same growth and evolution that you do. Without finding people and behaviors that support you, you will continue to act out of the group think behaviors and actions. If you want to be healthier and in better shape, you MUST surround yourself with people who are healthier and in better shape. You don't have to ditch the others completely, but you must level up your people. Karen had me to support her and that was really it. Though she had people in her life that cheered her on (husband and co-workers) it is important that we have people in our life who aren't just cheerleaders but also clear the path with us and are an active part of the journey.

This is the secret to being part of the few who are actually successful in their fat loss (only 4% BTW)

If you've struggled for years or even decades, start HERE with this work and start immersing yourself in it!

Combined with the right knowledge, it's just a matter of time before you're living the fit life.

PS  I've opened up a 6 week training on the Core 4 of changing your habits and health. Developing a strong WHY is part of what we will train on alongside food, exercise, and stress management. If you have struggled this year (or past years) in taking charge of your health and fitness then this could be a great option for you to shift gears before going into the holidays and winter season.

If you are ready, reply YES back to this email or check out this page here  to get started and I'll be in touch!