Is the Approval of Others Holding You Back?

What is weighing you down? Not just physically...but mentally, emotionally?

For many it is the opinions of others, approval, parents, friends, siblings, who are casting judgment on every thing you do or don't do.
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Food you eat.
Person you date.
Job you take.
Money you spend.
Opinions you have.
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When you go about living your life weighed down by the chains of approval and opinions of others it keeps us from doing, being exactly who we were meant to be.
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When you care MORE about their disapproval than your own happiness you find yourself confused, hurt.
 

It is here that your actions become inconsistent. So your results in your life become inconsistent.

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"there is only one reason to do anything, and that is because it is a proclamation of who you are."
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No labels. No expectations.
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Do it because you are alive. You are human. You have a life, and what better way to represent yourself while you are here than to create from a place of authenticity?

Some tips that may help you on your journey:

1. You must be able to identify what you want to experience in your life. Think of an artist. As they begin their creation they are putting onto the canvas an idea of what is in their head. If they go to paint their masterpiece onto a canvas but the canvas has some color and shapes sprinkled throughout the canvas then they have to paint around them and incorporate them into their final piece. The final product can never be what it should have been because there were design elements already there. Not of their choosing. They never had a chance to make it exactly what they wanted. Think of your life in the same way. You are born and you are given beliefs and a template for how life is supposed to go. You then go along the way with certain beliefs and ideas on how its supposed to be, except they aren't beliefs you chose. Wipe the slate clean and choose what you want, not what others want for you.

2. Question everything. This piggy backs off the previous step and actually works in tandem but to wipe the slate clean and be able to create you have to be open minded and question every belief, thought, "norm", teaching, etc. that has been put in front of you. This isn't to say they are bad by any means, and you may come back to decide that some of them are useful. But they have to be from YOUR choosing. To know what you want to create you have to know what rules and beliefs you are playing by. If you can stay open minded and not place limitations, constructs onto your life/canvas then you open yourself up to experience more on a deeper level.

3. Take action. Life isn't a discovery it is a creation. You don't find yourself, you create yourself. There is no finish line only the journey itself. If we use the artist analogy again then this is where you put the brush to the canvas and see what comes up. It is only after each stroke of the brush (each action) that the next stroke becomes clear. You are creating every second of every day. Your thoughts, feelings, actions will determine the final product of your life. It is because you have chosen what your experience and creation will be, what the "rules" are that the actions can come from an authentic place. From yourself.

4. Expect all of it to change. The beauty in all of this is that you can pivot, change, evolve and grow throughout the process. Its like the artist who decides to add a tree or mountain to the painting to balance it out. It wasn't part of the plan but after getting enough onto the canvas it was clear that's what they wanted to add to the experience.

In short, you must choose what you want in your life and who you want to be. Questions everyone and everything that contradicts that life. Take action into being that person, experiencing that life and be flexible along the way.

That's it for this week. Ponder this, take what's useful and make it your own.

Never settle, keep living.